3 Reasons Why you Shouldn’t Look for Validation from Others
We carry so amazing dreams within ourselves. Dreams that can positively change the lives of many. Dreams that can make us feel alive and vibrant. Dreams for which we were born.
No matter where you are right now in your life, you know deep inside that you have this unspoken beauty and strength that you wish to express one day. Every single person feels this somewhere deep inside. It’s this feeling that makes our heart beat faster. Yet so many of you struggle to express this inner beauty.
I see so much potential in people that I meet in and out of my coaching practice. Yet they feel afraid to live their dreams. There have been many times that I’ve asked myself why. The reason is fear. Fear of not being understood or rejected by others. Standing like a white sheep in a heard of black sheep. So often we let our dreams leave for fear that we will not receive approval, support, or love.
I’m not going to lie to you, it’s quite possible that this may happen. When we change and we start doing more of what we want, many so-called friends will leave. They will judge us and say that we’ve changed. Even if it can be hard for you to accept, please, know that this is alright. These people are not meant to stay in your life and they actually keep you down.
Don’t let it stop you or you’ll suffer from the biggest pain — betraying yourself and your dreams. There is a very high price for this — in a form of not ever feeling fulfilled and happy.
The only real validation worth pursuing is validation of you for what you do, think, and say.
Don’t look outside yourself for approval, the true power lies within you. The power of intuition is inherent in you and you can always trust that you’ll make the best choice when you listen to it.
Allow time to transform your dreams and ideas into reality without involving others too much.
Why does it make no sense to look for a validation outside of yourself?
1. Your own feelings matter. Even if you do what you believe is right to do based on external standards, it will not make you feel good. Because it doesn’t include you! Being a good employee, son, or an always helpful friend doesn’t include you. It’s like sacrificing your life to others, or being a puppet in the hands of anyone who seems to be more important at that moment. Yet what should always matter is how you feel. It’s not worth sacrificing your dreams, because at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live with this decision. I doubt that it could make anyone happy. The most powerful gift is how you feel and only you can change it by creating life a that works for you.
2. Unhappy people give you unwise advice. Let’s say that you know someone who seems to be successful in the terms of money. He is a successful entrepreneur owning a few properties and having luxury holidays every year. You think that he has figured it out and you want the same for yourself. The only seemingly unimportant problem is that he isn’t happy. He isn’t successful for himself but for others so he can appear more important. If you ask him for advice, he is only able to get you where he is at; meaning having money but also being more like a slave to his own company. You might think that it doesn’t matter to you but once you’d have the lifestyle as he has, you’d regret not following your own greatness and living a life of someone else.
3. Everyone has their own journey. What works for others might not work for you. Although it’s good to get inspired by others, don’t forget that you’re on your own life journey. Only you know exactly how you feel and what you really want, therefore, it’s only your responsibility to bring it forward. If you look outside of yourself for validation, you might end up waiting for it forever. Isn’t it better to give it to yourself now?
Instead of seeking validation from others — Embody Your Soul
Embodying your soul is a journey — definitely not the easiest one. More than often it’s very challenging because it requires becoming more conscious of your own words, intentions, decisions, and how you live your life.
But it’s a beautiful journey. For me, no other way of living makes sense. To embody your soul means being responsible to your most beautiful inner desires. It means answering the call to be more creative and loving. Being more kind to others and to yourself.
What is between you and your soul is sacred. There is nothing more uplifting than knowing that you live by your purest intentions and you embody your essence in real life. Your life becomes an extension of who you are inside.
In each moment, it can look different. Sometimes, I feel tired and I know that the best thing to do is to rest instead of pushing myself into something. When I rest, I can better embody my soul because I become more loving and vibrant as opposed to exhausted and stressed.
Other times, I know that I embody my soul by uplifting and helping others or by admiring a beautiful blooming meadow. It’s all about tuning in instead of looking for validation from something outside of you.
Speak and do what feels true for you. It’s your life and only you can express your truest essence into the world. The more you allow yourself to be your truest self, the more exciting your life will be. You’ll explore new possibilities and opportunities.
Be a creator of your own life
My best life advice for you is to stop bothering so much about others and care more about what you want. You’re here because of your own uniqueness that lies beneath the surface waiting for you to express it. You don’t need to get burdened by the expectations of others, you are responsible only for what is within you — for what makes you feel alive and express it.
Writer: Sylvia Salow