Kathy Caprino, M.A. is an international career and personal success coach, writer, speaker and leadership developer dedicated to the advancement of women worldwide. Considered a “brave up” expert for professionals, Kathy is the author of Breakdown, Breakthrough, and Founder of Ellia Communications, Inc. and the Amazing Career Project.
Kathy is also a Forbes, Huffington Post and LinkedIn contributor,
“The truth is that I continue to see over and over again that each and every one of needs to rise up even higher, to speak up more boldly, and stand up courageously for ourselves and for others, and when we do, it changes everything” said Kathy Caprino.
Here are 10 helpful ways of living “brave” today, while addressing all other fears as recommended by Kathy Caprino.
1: See Bravely
It’s time to stop seeing yourself in the old, habitual, small way. Tell yourself a new story that makes you the hero of your life, not the loser. Understand what and who has formed and influenced you from the past, but know that those influences are from the past and don’t have to continue to hold you down. You can shape your future differently, right now. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps, move beyond your current challenges and hardships, and embrace all that you are to start stepping up towards your highest visions. And don’t let your over-attachment to “authenticity” keep you from becoming a stronger version of yourself.
Tip: Understand the dominant way you take action towards a goal, and what you need to motivate you to move forward, and start leveraging your dominant style more fully. Stop pretending to be someone you’re not. Forget that. Just recognize who you are at your core and honor it.
2. Speak Bravely
So many women are afraid to communicate powerfully, authoritatively and confidently. They’ve either been culturally trained not to, or they’ve had damaging experiences in life that taught them they’d be punished if they speak bravely about themselves. We don’t come out of the womb afraid to speak up for ourselves – it’s a learned behavior.
Tip: Learn to recognize your many amazing talents and gifts, and share them with confidence. Yes, some people will be put off when you do this. Too bad. Those who are confident, strong and successful will appreciate your bravery. Stop hiding your talents, and stop worrying that you’re bragging when you shine your light.
3. Ask Bravely
Another way people hold themselves back and sabotage their own growth is to remain vague and muddy about what they really want. They waffle back and forth between their fantasies and dreams, running to and fro towards this shiny thing and that, but never do anything. It’s time to identify exactly what you want — from yourself, your life, others and your work — ask for it and get it. In fact, demand it, but in an open, compassionate and flexible way that will be appreciated and respected. Don’t take “no” for an answer about what makes your life worth living.
Tip: Figure out the one biggest goal for your life that will make your life worth living, and do something powerful about it today.
4. Connect Bravely
Networking is one thing, but truly connecting, from your spirit and your soul, with inspiring, enlivening people whom you admire and who wish to support and assist you, is a completely different matter (and a life-changer). Learn new ways to connect, network, find inspiring role models, mentors, and supporters who will help you become a braver version of yourself, and make a true difference in your life and work.
Tip: One first, practical step is to start offering heartfelt recommendations on LinkedIn to people you love, respect and admire, and ask for their recommendations as well.
5. Serve Bravely
Stop waiting for the world to serve you. Understand that it’s what you put out in the world — how you serve, support, uplift and assist others and support the greater good of all with your talents that brings true abundance, prosperity, happiness, meaning and purpose. Where and how can you serve others with your amazing gifts and talents?
Tip: Brainstorm three new ways you can leverage your fantastic talents in ways that will be juicy and exciting to you. What causes do you care about? What situations do you want to change? What stand do you want to take in the world? Find a way to do it, even if you’re stuck in a job you hate, or employer you want to leave. Do it today.
6. Protect Bravely
As the tragedies of this week have reinforced, none of us are invulnerable – we all can be hurt, diminished and cast away in this life. But we can’t live in fear. We need to soldier on, living the lives that matter most to us. To do that, you need to protect yourself, your dreams and your highest visions with fierce commitment and very strong, well-developed boundaries. And you need to protect and support other men and women who are part of your global family. Stop allowing mistreatment and abuse into your life, and take a brave stand against it. Realize that you are a co-contributor of all that is around you. If you hate, hate will spread. If you love, love will spread and grow. Fiercely protect your spirit and your dreams and stand up for others, and for love, forgiveness and compassion in this world. Don’t become a hater just because hating is what we’re seeing a million times a day, every day– in the headlines, in the political arena, and on the global stage.
Tip: Where are your boundaries being violated, either at work or in your personal life? Where do you feel beleaguered, put upon and taken advantage of? That’s the place to start. Have a bold conversation with the one person you need to tell, “Enough!”
7. Heal Bravely
Life hurts (sometimes a lot), and can injure us badly. Every one of us has experienced some degree of trauma, pain, suffering, sadness, isolation and self-hatred. What can we do about it? We can learn how to heal ourselves. It’s possible for all of us. But only when we take different steps, with new, expansive mindsets, practices and commitments — and helpers — than we’ve ever experienced before.
Tip: Sit with yourself quietly for an hour this weekend, and bring to mind the one thing that pains you the most about your life, and about your past and your present. What hurts you to think about? What takes your breath away because it’s so hard to face? That’s the very thing that needs healing today. Reach out to a therapeutic provider, friend or a mentor who has experience with this type of pain, and ask for help to feel it fully, process it, then heal through it.
8. Stretch Bravely
Humans are happiest and most fulfilled when they are growing towards their highest potential. But that requires seeking and stretching, every day. We need to get out of the tight box we’ve trapped ourselves in, and learn how to seek – to allow ourselves to long for new experiences, sensations and learnings and “try them on” so we can explore and expand, even amidst what we believe are the tight constraints of our present lives.
Tip: What’s the new direction you’re longing to stretch to, but you feel too scared to move? Understand that you will feel scared – that’s the reality. Get used to it and get comfortable with it. It’s a sign that you’re growing. In fact, the more you grow, the more “scared” is not something you give attention or credence to, when it comes to expanding beyond where you are today. Scared is the feeling that all brave, impactful and hopeful people feel, every day. Take the step and stretch.
9. Challenge Bravely
Women so often fail to bravely challenge the status quo. They fail to say “no” publicly to what is intolerable. They fail to do what’s necessary to risk, and say what needs to be said, with power and authority. Learn how to challenge — in an effective, constructive and life-giving way — what’s feels wrong to you, in your life and work. Challenge and revise what no longer works. And learn how to take on the haters without becoming a hater yourself. Only when we bravely challenge what is wrong, unjust, and hateful in the world, can we transform it.
Tip: What do you need to challenge today? What in your life is wrong, unfair, and unjust that you’ve been an accomplice too because you haven’t said a thing. Challenge it this week.
10. Love Bravely
Finally, we all deeply desire love — to be honored, cherished, respected and nurtured (at both work and home), and to give abundant love in return. But to be loved and share love, we have to love ourselves without fail, with bravery, acceptance and forgiveness. And we need to heal and transform that which is unloving and unrelenting. Learn how to love yourself more bravely by exposing and exploring what’s hidden, secret, and “shameful,” and say “no” to behavior and treatment that tears down love.
Read more on forbes.com.
Visit kathycaprino.com to connect and learn more about Kathy Caprino.